Mulliniks’ Moustache #10 – Beer & The Blue Jays

Allow me, if you will, to paint a picture:

Imagine a sunny, warm summer afternoon. The sun is high in the sky, bathing you in brilliant sunshine. You’re watching your beloved Blue Jays, surrounded by a friendly, well-mannered and unnervingly quiet crowd. In your right hand is a hotdog, topped with your favourite condiments – ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut, onions. In your left hand is another ballpark staple – peanuts in the shell. You settle into your seat. You decided to wear short-shorts today, so your upper thighs are a tad raw due to the warm seat. That won’t dampen your spirits though!

You delicately devour your food as the first pitch is thrown – a strike on the outside corner. Enjoying the first inning, you realize your salty treats have made you thirsty. What’s the tried-and-true, time-honoured way to remedy such a situation? The third piece of the baseball food Holy Trinity – a cold, refreshing beer. You know you’re going to pay through the nose for it, but that’s just the accepted way things are done when you’re taking in the ol’ ballgame.

“HEY! Beer guy! Gimme two!” you bellow to the man doing the Lord’s work.

He saunters over.

Mulliniks’ Moustache #9 – Toronto Blue Jays 2014 Opening Day Lineup

For better or for worse, below is your Opening Day 25-man roster for the 2014 Toronto Blue Jays.

Starting Pitchers

RHP R.A. Dickey

RHP Drew Hutchison

LHP Mark Buehrle

RHP Brandon Morrow

RHP Dustin McGowan

Bullpen

RHP Casey Janssen

RHP Steve Delabar

RHP Sergio Santos

LHP Aaron Loup

LHP Brett Cecil

RHP Esmil Rogers

RHP Todd Redmond

RHP Jeremy Jeffress

Starting Players

C Dioner Navarro

1B Edwin Encarnacion

2B Ryan Goins

SS Jose Reyes

3B Brett Lawrie

LF Melky Cabrera

CF Colby Rasmus

RF Jose Bautista

DH Adam Lind

Bench

INF Maicer Izturis

OF Moises Sierra

C Josh Thole

(This was straight up stolen from torontosun.com http://www.torontosun.com/2014/03/26/your-2014-blue-jays-roster)

Mulliniks’ Moustache #8 – The Bench; The Bullpen

A baseball team’s bench and bullpen are inexplicably and intrinsically linked. Backup position players and (in essence) backup pitchers. In many people’s brains, the bench and bullpen are mere afterthoughts. In reality, though, they play a large part in the fortunes of baseball teams.

Hell, even when a manager throws in the towel and calls on a position player to pitch an inning of mop-up duty during particularly terrible blowouts, he usually calls on a bench player (Jose Canseco notwithstanding) to ply his new trade and float batting-practice-perfected knuckleballs at seasoned major league hitters.

A major league baseball team’s bench is a motley crew of three to five not-quite-everyday-players that spend most of the season seated on – you guessed it – the bench, just waiting for a slow runner to get on base late in the game, or for an everyday player to require a sporadic day off.

We’re motoring towards the end of Spring Training, so as of this point, the 2014 Blue Jays version of The Bench is looking as such:

1. Back-up catcher (RA Dickey’s best friend Eric Kratz)
2. Back-up infielder (the Blue Jays $3-million man Maicer Izturis)
3. Back-up outfielder (out-of-options Moises Sierra)

Mulliniks’ Moustache #6 – Rogers Centre Fan “Quirks”

Opening day is just around the corner, so I figured now was the optimal time to touch on a few specific instances in regard to the in-game experience at Rogers Centre.

There are three things above all else – “quirks” if you will – that confuse, confound and annoy me about Blue Jay fans at Rogers Centre. I’ve tried for years to figure these out and frankly, I’m stumped. While I have been to baseball games at a couple of other stadiums, I haven’t been to enough to gauge if this is a Toronto-only phenomenon. However, I don’t recall experiencing these phenomena elsewhere, so I feel pretty safe in assuming these are Toronto-centric issues.

In no particular order, they are:

Mulliniks’ Moustache #5 – Munenori Kawasaki

A lot of things changed for the Blue Jays on April 12, 2013.

Some will look at it as the unofficial end of the Blue Jays 2013 season, and some will see the start of a beautiful friendship. Or you can look at it as both.

The Blue Jays were struggling, sitting at 3-6. Sure, it was incredibly early in the marathon we call a professional baseball season, but given the expectations, 3-6 was woeful. I think 8-1 would have been a cause for concern for some. One of the few bright spots early in the season was the play of Jose Reyes. He came from the Florida Marlins in the huge off-season trade exactly as advertised – a prototypical leadoff man who played above-average defense.

On April 12, 2013, it happened. After driving in two runners with a base hit to put the Jays up by four runs, Reyes attempted an ill-advised steal of second base. He slid feet-first and rolled his ankle on an awkward-looking slide, immediately crumpled to the field at Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City. The broadcast cut to commercial with Reyes in tears, being carted off the field. Out for three months. Poof. Season, in essence, over.

The next day, the Blue Jays called up everyone’s soon-to-be favourite Japanese backup middle infielder – The Diminutive Dynamo™, Munenori Kawasaki. And the rest, as they say, is history. The love affair had begun.

Mulliniks Moustache #4 – Brett Lawrie

I have to say, when the Blue Jays first acquired Brett Lawrie, I drank the Kool-Aid^®. I guzzled that sugary goodness like a 19-year-old at their first open bar. My thirst could not be slaked! I bought in hook, line and sinker. How could I not? A young, brash, highly-touted, dynamic Canadian baseball player? Sign me up! By all* accounts Lawrie was the second, coming clad not in robes and sandals, but in baseball cleats and eye black. He seemingly came from nowhere (Milwaukee), and his destiny was to lead a downtrodden team into the stratosphere and back to the promised land, baseball Mecca – PLAYOFFS. And all it cost was the Blue Jays’ opening-day starter.**

From the very moment he was acquired, I counted down the moments in breathless anticipation of when Brett Lawrie would arrive in “The Show”.

If that turncoat bastard John Farrell had had his way, 21-year-old Lawrie would’ve broken camp as the Blue Jays starting third baseman in 2011. Instead, upper management decided to send him to the minors for more “seasoning” where, on May 31^st, he proceeded to break a hand on an errant pitch, thus delaying the inevitable and postponing his callup until early August. Then, he arrived…and lasted less than two months. On September 21^st a broken finger during batting practice forced him to miss the remainder of the season. But by that point he had made his mark – he was the heir apparent by Spring Training 2012.

Mulliniks’ Moustache #3 – 2014 Blue Jays Season Preview

It’s every baseball fans’ favourite time of year - Spring Training is on the horizon*! Teams are taking shape, optimism abounds and everyone is in first place! Now is an opportune time to look ahead at what I expect from the Toronto Blue Jays in 2014.

In a word? Not much.

Shut up. I know that’s two words.

One small proviso, though: There is an almost microscopic kernel of optimism nestled firmly in my medulla oblongata that has me excited for the upcoming season. You may be asking yourself: “Why would this dimwit be optimistic?” Well that’s a great question, and here’s my answer: the 2014 Blue Jays are, essentially, the 2013 Blue Jays**, who were a near-consensus pick to not only make the playoffs, but to also win the World Series, and the team that played most of last season was decimated by injuries. If a few things go well, really well, and everyone stays reasonably healthy, they have a chance!

Without further adieu, below is my in-depth analyses of the 2014 Toronto Blue Jays.***

Mulliniks’ Moustache #2 – A Note on the Name

Mullinks’ Moustache. It really rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?

As a subtle nod to one of the most popular Blue Jays-themed blogs – The Tao of Stieb – I decided to (sort of) name my blog after a Blue Jay player of yesteryear. I didn’t choose a great ex-player though; my choice was a little bit more obscure, not quite so obvious, off the beaten path if you will. That ex-player being, of course, Rance Mulliniks: he of the non-prototypical sports body and he of the wonderfully iconic moustache.

I’ve had an odd fascination with Rance Mulliniks for years, and I can’t explain in concrete terms why. I do know that it started very early on in my baseball-watching career, which coincided with the end of Rance’s career, probably 1991 or 1992. How do I know? Because my first memory of Rance Mulliniks is of him coming off the bench to pinch hit. (Fun fact: He was quite skilled at pinch hitting and still holds the franchise record for career pinch hits with 59). The Blue Jays were down, obviously late in the game. The pinch hitter was announced and my eyes slowly crept open in wonderment and awe at this supposed saviour, the Blue Jays last-ditch attempt at offence. What I saw appeared to be a skinny old man, with the most glorious moustache, striding purposefully up to the plate.

Mulliniks’ Moustache #1 - Why I Started a Blog

Welcome to Mulliniks’ Moustache #1, hopefully the first of many thought-provoking baseball-centric missives that countless readers will enjoy and think about for days on end. Stop laughing dammit. Let me have this.

So you, my gentle readers, may be asking yourself any number of things, such as:

1. Why am I reading another baseball blog?
2. Why am I reading ANY baseball blog?
3. Although it’s more likely that you’re asking, loudly and with great animosity “Why am I reading THIS blog?”

Regardless of your questions, the reason for this particular blog is quite simple: everyone else has one, so why not me? My creativity is somewhat* stunted at my place of employment, so I figured I’d give my grey matter a wee workout and in the process have some fun as well. I mean, I AM professional writer (to some degree) and I’ve always enjoyed wordsmithing, but I’ve rarely had the opportunity to write about what I fancy most: the sporadic whims of my brain.