Mulliniks’ Moustache #13 – Blue Jays Music

My apologies, gentle readers, this week’s entry is a bit of a quicky. I’m pressed for time because I’m heading to Cleveland to the watch the Blue Jays play the Indians (amongst other fun and frivolity).

Shemp Kardashian

How about this topic for a bit of a change of pace: My suggestions for selected Blue Jay players’ walk-up/entrance music.

At the very least, this will surely open up an interesting, thought-provoking debate! Don’t you think? Of course it won’t. That was clearly sarcasm. Is it possible that this is the least-important debate almost ever? Now that I think about it, the only thing that comes to mind that’s less important is: Which is Your Favourite Kardashian Sister? In case you’re wondering, I’m a bandwagon-jumper in this regard and like everyone else, my favourite is Shemp.

So, with that pointless preamble out of the way, for no reason whatsoever I present the following for your reading pleasure:

Brett Lawrie

Song: Anything by Rush. My suggestions: "Tom Sawyer", "Closer to the Heart", or "Fly by Night".

That's Geddy Lee on the left

Reason: The reasoning should be pretty obvious (Canadiana!), and it makes much more sense for Lawrie than Gregg Zaun to have this music. Maybe it’ll even convince Geddy Lee to start showing up to Blue Jay games again!

Jose Bautista

Song: “Bat Out of Hell” by Meat Loaf.

Reason: There's a couple of reasons, actually: a) Bautista’s nickname is Joey Bats, and b) when Bautista gets pissed off? Look out! He does not handle his anger well. Amongst other, far harsher things, he probably tells the umpires to “Go to Hell!” whenever they mess up a called strike. No, you’re right; he probably doesn’t say that at all.

Colby/Cletus

Colby Rasmus

Song: Theme song to Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel (from The Simpsons).

Reason: He strikes me as an easy-giong guy with an off-beat sense of humour who would enjoy this and accept it as a type of playful banter. Either that or Rasmus and his dad would beat me to death with baseball bats. Actually, Colby would probably miss me 50% of the time. HEY-OH!

Munenori Kawasaki (just in time for his recall!)

Song: Really, anything that’ll convince him to dance.

Reason: Have you SEEN Kawasaki dance? Anything that elicits that result is okay by me.

Edwin Encarnacion

Song: “De Bat (Fly In Me Face)” by Carly Simon.

Reason: I’m serious, that’s an actual song that actually exists in our world! Based on Eddie E helicoptering his bat into the stands three times already this year, is there any other song that's more applicable? Sure, the all the lyrics don’t really fit, but the chorus is damn-near perfect.

Ricky Romero

Song: “Wild Thing” by The Troggs 

Reason: Is that mean? It’s totally mean, isn’t it? Oh well. Still applies.

Adam Lind & Steve Delabar

Song: Anything by ZZ Top. My suggestions: “Legs”,  “Sharp Dressed Man”  or “Tube Snake Boogie”.

Reason: Just because of the beards. Those wonderful, glorious, out-of-control beards.

Ryan Goins

Song: “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi.

Reason: It’s a kick-ass song, and the Blue Jays using Goins as their starting second baseman is based solely on a hope and a prayer. FYI this song and the reasoning also apply to Jonathan Diaz if the Blue Jays keep him around instead of Goins when Jose Reyes returns from his injury.

Dustin McGowan

Song: "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J

Reason: Focus primarily on the first two lines of the song: “Don't call it a comeback/I’ve been here for years.” If that doesn’t apply to Dustin McGowan, I don’t know what does.

Jose Reyes

Songs: Yup, he gets two choices depending on what’s going on: "Happy" by Pharrell and/or "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.

Reasons: Two sides of the same coin! “Happy” because he's always the happiest person, all the time, no matter what. How can you not be when you’re continually sporting that badass Superman shirt? And "Everybody Hurts" because it's the most depressing song ever in the history of recorded music*, which is how everyone feels (Reyes himself included, I’m sure) every time he gets hurt. *Other songs in the running: “Brick” by Bens Fold Five and “Hurt” by Johnny Cash.

R.A. Dickey

Song: “Float On” by Modest Mouse

Reason: C’mon? Does that really need an explanation?

That’s it! Do you, my loyal and intelligent readers, have any suggestions? Feel free to list them in the comments section!

h/t to my brother for helping with a few of these.